Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
