well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
