what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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