Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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