I hate all girls vehemently.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He kissed a someone with a penis
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You were trust falling into bushes
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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