She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
