Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
