My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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