I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
