Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
