dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
