Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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