i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
