Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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