so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
