bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
