Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
third nipple confirmed
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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