I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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