I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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