I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
