If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
