I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
