Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
