Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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