I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
