I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
