Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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