Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
