is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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