i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
