Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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