this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
