Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
