I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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