Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
