I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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