Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
MIDGETS
????
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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