sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
