I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
