Can Purell be used as lube?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
