Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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