I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
