I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
