Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize