Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
