So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
