mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
