as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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