Christians are straight up FREAKS
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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