I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
