Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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