I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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